October 2011
I'm jealous, however
You can call her yours for a day, but I know she’s mine for life.
Hey you. Yeah, you.
Since when did you develop such a damn problem with me? Get off your high horse, will you? I’m sorry I’m not the perfect daughter, but you’ve outright been treating me different. Don’t say you’re open-minded when you’re clearly not. And stop bitching at me for the littlest things. I’m still the same person, why are you being so different? I never thought we’d have this type of relationship, but you know what? Fuck you, Mother. You’ve finally pushed me too far, and once my wings can spread, I’m getting the hell out of here.
I hate living in my sister’s shadow. I get it, she’s great. But I’m not her; please get passed that.
I’m not asking you to change, I’m asking you to see where I’m coming from and why I’m acting like this.
I want to be a guy.
At least for a day. I hate being upset and not knowing if its just me PMSing or if this is really an issue. I don’t want to be so jealous and emotional. I want the “don’t care” attitude that could match my already too proud ego. I don’t normally give two shits, but with you, its different. With you, things like this matter. I know I’m going over board because I’m being a girl, but I also know that venting to my review mirror isn’t getting me anywhere.
My sin is..
I’m way too prideful.
When you remember you have a shit-load of homework on a sunday night...
It’s only a matter of time now..
When my mom's in my room and she's touching all my stuff
Why is it..
That when I step into a picture, I ruin it? People wonder why I’ve been single most my life, well this is probably why. No matter how good of a girlfriend I try to be to that person, I mess it up. Their friends don’t like me. Their parents don’t like me. I give off wrong impressions. I say the wrong things. I never meant to come between friends. I didn’t know it was going to happen. I guess I should have known perfect isn’t in my vocabulary.
I’m so cold, stressed, pissed, and unhappy to the point that all I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep. But I can’t even fucking do that.
One day.
I want to be the one who asks you out. I want to be the one who makes a big deal about something small. I want to be the one who makes you smile by doing something cute. I want to be the one you leave and come home with. I want to be the one who publicly makes you feel special. I want to be the one who makes you smile and blush. I want to be the one. But for now, I’ll wait. I know one day I can make a big deal, but for now, I hope the little things I do is enough for you.
